We Missed You Johnny Sanchez!

June 14th, 2009

I know I promised you Johnny Sanchez but he got sick at the last minute and couldn’t make it to the Laugh Factory last night. It was a heavenly evening despite his absence with the exception of the Bachelorette Party that was in the FRONT row! Boobs were out, vomit was spewing in the bathroom…Dov Davidoff said it best to the bride to be: “Has the guy who’s marrying you ever MET you?” My advice to all brides to be….have fun at your bachelorette party but back off from the Tequila shots.

With the hangover you get…you won’t WANT to get married!

Still the girls were fun and her friends were very supportive and held her hand in the bathroom as she vomited.

Whoever said being a comedian was easy? You tell jokes, do blogs make people laugh and then you get sued and puked on.

I’m sticking with it! Best job in the world.

Will keep you posted but make sure you go to the Hyperion Theater tonight and check me out at 8:00.
1941 Hyperion Blvd
Silverlake, CA

Tonite is a Twitter Storytelling night. Boy….do I have a few stories to tell!

See you tonight!

STOP…PLEASE STOP….I KNOW ALREADY!!!!

June 11th, 2009

Hey, Guys….Fans, friends…all of you. Please understand that I am going through a very painful and difficult situation being sued by my in-laws. Although I am truly appreciative of all the concern you have….I’m sorry to say, you guys have to move on. I have.

YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL… but it’s done.

As far as the lawsuit is concerned: I KNOW I’M BEING SUED BY MY BROTHER, SISTER AND MOTHER IN LAW. I know! I know! I know!!!! TRUST ME I KNOW! DO NOT SEND ME ANY MORE LINKS WITH THE LAWSUIT ON IT…PLEASE.

so…with THAT being said….it’s wonderful that you care about me. It’s sad that it is happening, remember the only people who are really hurting are my baby girls so you have to stop writing to me about this. I can’t begin to tell you how sad this is. My children are so sad not knowing who their family is. Not ever knowing their cousins, and worse than that. Their grandmother, aunt and uncle is suing their mom.

Let’s not talk about this, refer to this on my website or any other account as the Plaintiffs are pathetically, constantly monitoring all that is being written so THAT is why I won’t elaborate…it doesn’t mean I don’t receive or respond to your e-mails/responses it’s just that legally, I can’t. To be honest with you,
I want to take this opportunity to say thanks…Thank you for caring.

It’s not every day a comedian is sued by their in-laws! Most people pick up a phone if they don’t like a joke. Let’s focus on the good things on life like my children’s shoe addiction…actually, I passed that on!!!

My kids will be spared a life of rejection! These last few years have been a MISERY but it is now over and I move on. My husband, children and I are now free. We all want to be “movin’ on up to the top!”

Speaking of moving on up…keep your eyes open for the Raging Jews of Comedy coming to a theater near you, soon!
Johnny Sanchez…we love you and will see you at the Laugh Factory! 8 PM show.

Be there!

I love you all…..Peace.

Sunda

“November is coming…….quicker than a sneeze!”

June 11th, 2009

My kids are getting ready for their dance recital with the Debbie Allen Dance Academy and are going to be signing with a new manager….pretty good for two kids under the age of 9! Time for them to get busy….it’s their turn!

I’ve decided to stop reading horoscopes….especially the ones that tell you what is going to happen in future months. I, being the sometimes superstitious comedian that I am have decided to rename it HORRORSCOPES!

“Horrorscopes” say November is THE worst time of the year to plan anything because of the negative position of the stars! I freaked out! It’s my daughter’s big day! November 8th is coming and she’s turning 7 but NOW…I’m so paranoid when it comes to Astrology that I’m not even giving my daughter a birthday party this November! In fact, we’re going to Disneyland! Not taking any chances! OK! So call me Nancy Reagan! She helped run the country!

What I WILL do is tell you that since it is a crazy month…get ready for the newest Kosher Comedy show in town….”Raging Jews of Comedy” produced by Joel Marks. I will keep you updated on our venues and dates in November for the West Coast. I’m very excited to be a part of the show and you will be glad, too!

Stay tuned and I’ll keep you posted!

PS: Yes, as per EVERYONE’s request…JOHNNY SANCHEZ WILL BE AT THE WORLD FAMOUS LAUGH FACTORY ON SUNDA’S SHOW 8:00on Saturday Night. Thank you for all your support, laughter and yes as always….my flowers!

Love…..from your favorite Diva of Comedy!

Sunda

“It’s that time, again!”

June 4th, 2009

Get ready everyone for the Debbie Allen Dance Acadamy’s dance recital! This will be a great event as my two princesses will be performing! Don’t get me wrong…there’s a few men in tights you wouldn’t want to miss, either! Definitely worth seeing! Please support and for tix please contact: 310/ 280-9145. There…it’s done! My kids can’t tell me I didn’t put it on my blog.

I’ll have more for you later….I promised the girls I would do this when I really would rather be talking about something else….and the beat goes on!

Love to all the parents tonite that are making this evening possible at Sinai for the teachers.

…Mahasti Joon….everyday should be Tabibzede! Hope you have fun.

Love to all.

s

What the….???

June 3rd, 2009

Okay,

I’m done. My kids need an assistant…for REAL! I had to go over their lyrics for Sunday’s theater class, go do art with the youngest from 1:30-2:45, Pick up the oldest at 3:15….Drive THEM an hour away to an audition (where I suddenly realized…hey, Newark really DID have some good parts compared to some parts of LA!) The audition was for Payless….(why not Prada?!!) They had a ball! They had to do gymnastics for the audition and on the way there I got car sickness and was petrified (if only for the moment!) that I was pregnant, again!

They’ve already told me: “No more kids, Mommy!! You won’t love us if you have more!”

They have NO reason to tell me that….I’m DONE! The casting directors asked me: “Are they YOUR children” and I said, yes…..she pours it on…..”OH! They’re beautiful! I’m trying to figure out which one looks like you….are they twins?” “We’re NOT twins!” they retort and then of course Tovah volunteers more information: “We’re a year apart!”

DUH!….in this day and age you don’t HAVE to have kids a year apart….you can take some time off in between birthing sessions….clearly, my husband and I had no self control….or it was just too much Tequila that night! It was way too much information and I was way too tired to handle the chatter of my little birds. Either way it was quite a ride and I realized that they are really growing up quite nicely but sometimes, just sometimes I think…..maybe I drank too much coffee when I was pregnant! THEY HAVE SO MuCH ENERGY!!!!! They didn’t even have Red Bull when I was pregnant but you would swear THEY are on it!

Come see Elon Gold, Jeff Cesario and Jimmy Brogan from the Tonite Show at the Laugh Factory this Saturday…Will be a great show!

Don’t forget the 20th…we have our Kosher Comedy Night at La Gondola!

Congrats to Annie Marks tonite on your award for Parent Teachers night! Having my daughter in your class for the whole year ENTITLES you to a reward!

OY!

good night everyone and sweet dreams…..

“The Inmates are Running the Asylum!”

May 22nd, 2009

O….bama! What are you ON? Mr. President! Mr. President! Listen up: Leave those fools in Guantanamo! My G-d! You are even considering letting out these terrorist bastards? Dig this: Let them out and put them into Maximum Security Prisons is a GREAT idea ….IF you want to convert every idiot serving time into Koran carrying terrorists!

Forgive me for insulting our President….love him! HATE his ideals….the idea that water boarding or whatever the hell it’s called is considered TORTURE! Torture is what the parents, wife and son of Daniel Pearl is going through. Victims of 911….. Water boarding is not BEHEADING!

After meeting Daniel Pearl’s wife while pregnant and listening to his father speak at our Temple….I was compelled to always keep his memory alive.

Letting these animals out and putting them with prisoners who are serving time for Grand Larceny and Murder is just an invitation to more terror.

I suggest anyone reading this blog to put out a petition against this. Look what happened in Riverdale, NY!

Young black men serving time in prison were “converted” to Islam and then decided to blow up a Synagogue!

These brothers were stupid enough to be brainwashed into believing these Arab Terrorists even LIKE Black people!!! The Arabs laugh at them and call them “cotton heads!” Yet, they are foolish enough to believe that it is more moral to be Muslim than sticking with their former beliefs of Baptist and Episcopalian. Haven’t seen a whole bunch of baptist preachers lately blowing up schools and killing kids to get to the kingdom of heaven to be with virgins but ….I’m just sayin’……We have to do something to stop this. These terrorists are like a cancer in fact they ARE Cancer…worse than Cancer because there is no Chemo for them.

I HATE them. These are sick people and this issue is REAL! This is REAL….all my fans, please note that I’m from Paterson, NJ and a huge terrorist cell was just found there as well. There are breeding like roaches and they are good…really good. They are convincing the “Stupid Heads” that they have a chance in Paradise with a few hairy virgins with a Unibrow.

Ain’t gonna happen.

There aren’t any virgins in heaven…and if so…Paul Newman took them all by now.

Jokes aside. Sign the Petition when it comes to you. These Terrorists WILL teach the “Stupids” in prison and we will have more shit on our hands than we can handle.

President Obama…Take a look at the footage of 9/11….think it won’t happen again? Let them out and it WILL!

Sign the petition everyone….Don’t let them run our country….they really have taken over Michigan and New Jersey is starting to get in trouble…Don’t let the Cancer out….keep them in the prison…together! They can all bend over on their rugs and pray to Allah but leave them in their holes and don’t let them out!

Come to the Laugh Factory this Saturday night….Maz Jobrani (Axis of Evil) will be performing. Here’s a dude who’s an Arab AND makes fun of terrorists! We’re both never gonna make it to Paradise but do come and you’ll die…….. from laughing!

Showtime is 8:00 PM….Be there and SIGN THE PETITION….President Obama…you just can’t say YES YOU CAN to this one because Sunda says:

“HELL NO YOU WON’T!”

Black people….don’t be insulted…..I’m still Black and proud….just not Black and suicidal!! OY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let’s “Unwhine”!

May 19th, 2009

It’s “Parent’s Night Out at the Churchill” hosted by Sunda Croonquist and Mark Zafrin. Parents from Kindergarten at Sinai get to hang out”side” of the playground! Tonight’s event will be catered by La Gondola Kosher Restaurant of Beverly Hills…showtime is 8:00 so be there!

Please…please….no Press allowed at this event. This is something for my children’s school and I would like this to be private. I am not taking any interviews at this time.

My condolences go out to Rabbi Wolpe and his family during this time as his father passed away and our prayers are with the family.

Let’s see how we feel tomorrow after the hangovers hit! OK Parents! I PROMISED I would blog this and here it is! So let’s try to unwind without the whining! “Can I have a playdate” “Can I go to the park” “Can I have a cell phone” CAN I…..get a BREAK!!!!!

See you, soon!

“All in the Family”

May 16th, 2009

Could you believe that your kid can make YOU sick and then have the nerve to tell YOU ….”get away….you’ll make me sick, Mama!” Oh how I love my family! I am so ill….I feel like I’m on gas at the dentist’s office! Is this the flu? HELP! Either way…gotta go on that stage tonite so hope you’ll be there tonite at the Laugh Factory-8:00 PM show! BE there and don’t cough on me!

“PAGE TO THE STAGE”….A SUCCESS!!!!

May 13th, 2009

SO PROUD OF ALL OF YOU! You took your leap! You went from the Page to the Stage! This comedy workshop has really developed some talented comics. It’s what you should be doing….you take life’s circumstances and make it funny! This was such a hit last night that the phone calls came in early this morning.

Understand that laughter is very healing. Working now for several years with Cancer survivors I have learned that my gift that G-d has given me has allowed people going through Chemo and Radiation the opportunity to FORGET …if only for an hour the fact that they are living with Cancer and for that hour they are living with laughter!

So all of you that think you can make people laugh….DO IT! Get on that stage and do it! Don’t go to your grave never having held the mike in your hand and sharing your gift with the world.

I’d also like to thank my fans for my Mother’s Day flowers and gifts….you SPOIL me!

I do promise to update my Blog more frequently….I will keep that promise and I love all of you for always supporting me and more importantly…. LIVE COMEDY!

To all my “obsevant” fans…you know who you are! Kosher Comedy at it’s best at La Gondola on the 16th at 10 PM! Butch Bradley is BACK and ready for action. Join Ruben Paul and James Harris hosted by Yours, truly!

BE THERE! 9025 Wilshire Blvd. Beverly Hills….great Kosher Italian Dining….to Rifka…don’t forget BYOW! (Bring your own wig! I love you!)

See you there and don’t forget to Google the pending lawsuit against me now that my in-laws have decided to go public and sue me. Just put in Sunda Croonquist and Lawsuit….you can also go to “images” and see photos of WHAT I’m up against! I swear it’s like the Beverly Hillel-billies!

But….. it’s Comedy!

Family Un-ties!

May 12th, 2009

YES! You guys have contacted me constantly and YES it’s true! I’m being sued by an in-law! Hysterical! AND PS: It is NOT a JOKE! I repeat….this is not a JOKE! They are spending a LOT of money to destroy me for some reason. Thank G-d my husband is a lawyer! :)

I’m not allowed to talk about it, but because several notices have been sent to me online from fans, you can Google me online under Sunda Croonquist and Lawsuit and see what madness these boring people have gotten themselves into because they are in such dire need of attention.

I’m glad my fans have contacted me and supported me on this…it’s really not important…it’s the comedy that counts… remember that! I am truly sorry that you guys have to know what kind of people they are…my husband must have been adopted! I’ve never seen people go so far to destroy a fellow family member’s life. They’ve never been a real family anyway…my daughters have never had a Passover seder with them…
hmmm….wonder why? Can’t be because I’m not Jewish…I was a Jew before I met my husband…must because I have a really deep tan!

There’s no other reason to explain their behavior. Imagine if Bill Cosby, George Carlin and Richard Pryor got sued by their family members? They are very sad and miserable people with a LOT of time on their hands! I, on the other hand want you to forget about them and remember to come to the World Famous Laugh Factory where tonite “Page to the Stage” students showcase their talent with their debut performance at 8:00 PM!