“Hot Fun in the Summertime!”

So glad school is out! It’s NOT that I don’t love the Moms in my kids school but honestly…they talk a lot! My time is so limited and they’ve got so much time! Everyone wants to know when I’m having another baby. Why oh WHY would I do something like that? It took (honestly!) 4 years for me to get my body to look like this. It has not been easy. I don’t know how these women do it in a year…and when I say do IT, i mean…where people say “YOU have two kids?” Of course they have no idea that on my tushie there are stretch marks that look like a map of South East Asia! JOKE! (Should I sue myself for that joke?)

I hate working out. I hate it! My trainer is wonderful and her name is Vita. Vita helped my husband lose 100 lbs. She is very motivating and beautiful as well. You look at her body and you’re like,,,, hey…..I wanna look like THAT!

I made a mistake with her, once. I was talking to her in Spanish and she seemed insulted. I said …”what’s the problem?” She said : “I don’t speak Spanish!….why would you even THINK I was Spanish?” I told her: “Frankly, I thought you were a Mexican because you shaved OFF your eyebrows and had drawn them back ON!” I mean come on….who ELSE does that?! Anyway sit down for this one: She tells me: “I’m not Mexican…I’m Vietnamese and Italian.” I didn’t see THAT coming!

This is the dawning of the Age of Obama! EVERYBODY is mixed! Listen, if you haven’t done it…do it! Marry out of the box and have a mixed kid! It’s the RAVE! Just kidding….NOW it’s cool but back in the “day”…OMG! Not so nice….people always wanted me to take “sides”. I’m Black and I’m White. I clearly don’t look all White and I clearly don’t look all Black! It’s obvious that I am 100% PUERTO RICAN! i know it’s in my act but it’s funny how SO many people in Jersey think that I really am PUERTO RICAN!

All I can say is I’ve learned to embrace who I am and what I am. Took some time….remember, I have a Militant Uncle (Yes, Uncle Junie Boy!) who I grew up with who taught me not to trust the “Man”. The “Honky” was the Enemy…. (and no, My Uncle Junie Boy is NOT suing me for using him in my Act!) I’ve grown up with racism on both sides of the coin and ended up being a rather observant Conservative Jew. Go figure!

Life’s like that. You grow up, meet the man of your dreams who gives you everything you can ask for: A great life, two beautiful children, supportive of my Career and has a family… who SUES me! You take those lemons and make lemonade! To Patsy….you are right, I should have never stopped talking about the lawsuit but I did for the sake of my children.

I haven’t decided how I’m going to explain to them the situation because they are REALLY blended …remember: they are not like me. I had two Black Grandparents. They only have ONE(that would be my Mom) but they are so proud of having that heritage.

I let my Uncle Junie teach them what he wants to teach them. He doesn’t see them often but he definitely leaves an impression on them! They will and are going to have to live with the fact that they have a mom who is of “color” and people will say stupid things.

When Aviva was an infant, (she is CLEARLY from the Swedish side of my family! ) A white woman approached me in the park….she said my G-d her eyes are so blue and beautiful…and her hair! It’s blonde but it’s like gold!” I said: “Thank you” and kissed my baby…..She then added: “Have you been taking care of her for a long time? She really likes you!” I was stunned.

This woman thought I was the Nanny and I’m the MAMMY! I cooly responded: “Yes, I’ve had her since she was born”. “Well”, she said “She really likes you a lot and is obviously very used to you…you must spend a lot of time with her.”

I then covered Aviva with a blanket, opened my blouse and proceeded to breastfeed her. This woman almost passed out right in Holmby Park in Beverly Hills.

To this day, I don’t think she recovered.

That’s how I roll. You will never see me coming but trust me….I’m someone that doesn’t sit down and take abuse so for the “Haters” out there….buckle your seatbelts….I’m a stunt driver! To all my adoring fans…don’t worry…it’s okay and trust me…after all is said and done this lawsuit against me is a GOOD thing that happened.

Yes, to see my name in legal documents on search engines being brought to my attention by people(all over the world!) is indeed an interesting facet of my life. Something I’ve never dealt with before. At first I was shocked, then I was very saddened when people from my Temple were offering to try to mediate, talk about it, things like that.

There is nothing to talk about. If you sue a family member it’s evident what is going on. My advice: Don’t hate the Player…. hate the Game.

Attacking my career and taking food out of the mouths of my children is basically what’s going on here.

SUE YOUR DAUGHTER IN LAW!!!? SUE your BROTHER’S WIFE? I have never even thought of doing anything like that to a family member. Suing? Taking them to court? Nah…I don’t have the time or larceny in my heart to do that. I’d rather spend my time with my family and volunteer my services to Nursing Homes, hospitals, hospices and organizations to help people have a good time while they are living with Cancer or terminally ill with AIDS. I don’t have time to do evil. My time is for good and if I’ve outed anyone for being what they are….hey….I didn’t sue anyone. I’m just living and enjoying my life.

People have been so kind to me. My Kosher fans from La Gondola….what you all did for me on Saturday night was beyond words. Thanks you from my heart for being who you are. I love you for it and hope to be able to continue to do what you say I do best…give joy. My heart goes out to those “Plaintiffs” that are suing me. May G-d have mercy on your actions.


Guess what? I’m Black, was Black when I married my husband and will die Black AND guess what else? He went Black…. and he ain’t goin’ back.

’nuff said.

Patsy: That one was for you! Yes, you’re right…they’re GLUED to the Blog! I love ya!

2 Responses to ““Hot Fun in the Summertime!””

  1. Zoey Diaz says:

    topical copper peptide and topical vitamin C can help reduce stretch marks.~:-

  2. Sunda says:

    Thanks for the tips! Did you see me in a bathing suit, lately!!! LOL!

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