Archive for January, 2012

“WHERE OH WHERE HAS SUNDA BEEN?”

Monday, January 16th, 2012

MY NEW YEAR STARTED OFF WITH A BANG. LITERALLY!

I HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO A NUMBING MEDICATION IN MY MOUTH AFTER A DENTAL APPPOINTMENT.  I LOOKED LIKE I HAD BEEN IN A FIGHT WITH MIKE TYSON! I’VE NEVER BEEN SO SCARED IN MY LIFE TO LOOK AT MYSELF!  A C-SECTION WAS EASIER. I WORE A MASK WALKING THROUGH NYC BECAUSE MY LIPS WERE SO SWOLLEN.  OF COURSE, WHEN I GOT TO LA MY FRIENDS THOUGHT I HAD THEM “DONE!”  AFTER A COURSE OF PREDNISONE, THE SWELLING IS GOING DOWN AND I’M READY FOR SEASON 3 OF JAMES AND SUNDA ON JEWISH LIFE TELEVISION AND WE HAD TO PUT OFF PRODUCTION AS I LOOKED MORE LIKE ONE OF THE HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS!  TRUST ME…I NEED NO MORE FULLNESS IN MY LIPS, NOR DO I NEED IT IN MY HIPS BUT THAT’S ANOTHER STORY.

MY TRIP HOME WAS NOT UNEVENTFUL.  I HAD TO FLY WITH A SERVICE DOG.  THAT DIDN’T BOTHER ME AS MUCH AS THE FACT THAT THE DOG WAS BLIND!  I UNDERSTAND THAT THE WOMAN NEEDED THE DOG BUT THE DOG NEEDED A CANE.  A NICE ASIAN COUPLE WAS SITTING WITH ME AND WAS SO POLITE; THE MAN DIDN’T WANT TO DISTURB ME SO HE COULD USE THE LAVATORY.  BEING A MOTHER I SENSED HE WAS “UNCOMFORTABLE” AND I ASKED HIM IF HE’D LIKE TO USE THE LAVATORY AND HE REPLIED: “VERY BADLY!”  WHY DIDN’T HE JUST ASK?  WHY COULDN’T THIS NICE COUPLE LIVE UPSTAIRS OVER ME INSTEAD OF MY NOISY NEIGHBOR WHO HAS HEIGHTENED HER ANTICS TO A NEW LEVEL!

YESTERDAY SHE HIT A HOME RUN.  I HEAR ALL THIS DRILLING AND I SMELL FIRE SO I’M CONFUSED.  SMOKE IS IN THE HALLWAY UPSTAIRS AND I RUN TO THE CONCIERGE OUT OF CONCERN.  THIS NEW DESK GUY IS A MANNEQUIN.  HE TELLS ME:  “WE HAVE THE FIRE UNDER CONTROL AND WE’VE GOTTEN INTO THE APARTMENT.”  FIRE!  AGAIN?????  HE EXPLAINS: “IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL.  SHE WAS COOKING AND LEFT THE APARTMENT AND LOCKED HERSELF OUT THAT’S WHY THEY HAD TO DRILL THE LOCK TO GET BACK IN.”  NOW PEOPLE CAN SAY I’M “PICKING” ON HER BUT NOW I’M AFRAID FOR MY LIFE.  WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND LEAVES FOOD ON THE STOVE AND LEAVES THE HOUSE WITH NO ONE IN IT?

NEEDLESS TO SAY, I HAD A MEETING HERE WITH ONE OF THE CAMERAMEN FROM THE SHOW.  HE ASKS ME WHO PLAYS THE TUBA UPSTAIRS.  I CALMLY EXPLAIN THAT THE SOUND HE HEARS IS FURNITURE BEING DRAGGED ACROSS THE MARBLE FLOOR.  HE THOUGHT ALL THIS TIME THAT “NOISY NEIGHBOR” WAS JUST PART OF MY ACT!  OF COURSE, SUNDALIVE  READERS KNOW THE REAL DEAL AND I PROMISE TO KEEP YOU ALL TUNED IN IF YOU STAY TUNED IN! !  HAPPY NEW YEAR… A LITTLE LATE BUT I KNOW YOU’LL FORGIVE ME…JUST DON’T ASK FOR A KISS!