Archive for November, 2010

and Where was Sunda on Thanksgiving?

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

Well, I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing but I did do something good! Thanks to, Jamie Masada owner of the Laugh Factory I served meals and did a show for the homeless. Once again I’m standing next to Brad Garrett, Arsenio Hall and Dane Cook and you should have seen the people’s faces brighten up when served by these guys…me, not so much…not with my kids shouting orders for their “friends” as they call them. More turkey! More dressing! More SALT! Salt? If we were in NYC Mayor Bloomberg would close us down! My kids ran and gave food, lemonade and water to the homeless. A beautiful feeling to do this with your kids! Taking your precious time and sharing it!

I decided that this year, instead of cooking, I would do something… “Different” and went to Disneyland for Thanksgiving! OMG! I felt like I was in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade…. in NEW YORK! I was freezing like… nose running and you have no idea freezing!

Tovah’s one mouse ear went down from the wind and never came back up, again! I wanted to show my kids how great they were and reward them for great school behavior reports…instead, they looked like they were frozen in time but don’t think that stops a kid!! It’s about 34 degrees so they feel it’s a great time to get wet at Splash Mountain!

It’s only 7 o’clock but I’ve fed and told jokes to close to 300 people, and of course, had to keep my eye on my kids while they were helping the homeless. Note that I forgot to mention that they were very sensitive over people’s blankets…especially my youngest who will never forgive me telling the world that she still keeps hers “very close by” and so she was very understanding when people didn’t want to put their blankets down and offered to carry them and give them to ME because “MAMA will keep them safe.” OY!

It’s time to be thankful…Be grateful for the arguments you have had with family members, it means you have family. Be grateful for all the text messages that came in saying “Happy Thanksgiving” because someone was indeed thinking of you, even if it was a mass e-mail…you WERE included. Be thankful to be alive, have a roof over your head and never worry about where your blanket is.

Looking at the homeless through your Lexus windows is not the same as seeing that cold, tired hand reaching for a roll, devouring it and being grateful. It’s the Hollywood Homeless! It’s not a reality show, it’s the real deal and in our faces and lots of old people are suffering so dare to do something different! Visit, volunteer, buy a kid a toy but do SOMETHING for someone in need! Speaking of need…I need a favor….Don’t let me hear “It’s a Small World” for another year!

Monday, November 8th, 2010

AND THE BIRTHDAY GIRL IS…. TOVAH!

“Could time possibly have flown by so quickly?” That’s what people say to me when I tell them that “Little Tovah” is 8 today. I don’t know how to correct them when they say that statement because it didn’t fly by THAT quickly!

All mothers give me advice: “Enjoy them now as they will be out of your life forever, sooner than you think!” I guess they think that’s great advice but time isn’t flying by so quickly.

Tovah was born the year after her sister, Aviva. I don’t really remember life before having them. That could be directly related to the 80’s but I also don’t remember this “flying time” syndrome! Again, this too could be directly related to the 80’s but who remembers?

This I remember: Time hasn’t flown since the birth of Aviva! It’s been “hard labor” since she opened her eyes! Of course, Tovah came shortly thereafter and although I wanted to “feel” guilty over having them so closely…the pain of the C-Sections wouldn’t allow the guilt to have a chance to hit me!

People think it’s easy to entertain two girls 18 months apart but these little broads put me on the spot! We’re in the nail salon when Tovah starts quoting “pick a color!” from my act. Often uncomfortable yet ALWAYS hysterical my girls make me crack up and so I’m sorry, I can’t agree with the “time flying by so quickly” speech!

I’m told they need more playdates…. they play with each other and some friends from school but this playdate situation has escalated to a proportion I never knew could exist! Who has time for playdates every week after school? Maybe some Mommy and Me time would satisfy a kid’s yearning i.e. “jonesing” for a playdate!

Here are some playdate horror stories: My husband picks up my daughter and she and her “playdate” is stuck in a tree and the nanny if too short to get them and the mom is on computer.

My daughter gets locked out of a house in Beverly Hills because the 18- month old brother of the “playdate” did it by “accident. My other daughter is at ANOTHER playdate at the same time and has fallen over a speaker wire and the point of the speaker gives her a huge bump on the head.

What Black/Jewish neurotic mother has had these experiences and feels comfortable with the concept of ‘PLAYDATE?”

The moms tell me to relax and enjoy myself while my kids are in TWO separate places! If I have a playdate at my apartment (and I do, often!) I try to get a bunch of girls and their sisters together to do things other than look at the computer!

We make jewelry, do fashion shows, dance steps, etc. It is time consuming but must be done and I have to do it! And if I don’t, …time will fly!

Mazel Tov to Tovah! Happy Birthday my love, and time doesn’t fly…it just doesn’t wait! So don’t wait! Come see a show at the Laugh Factory before I go on tour with the Raging Jews of Comedy…always fun!