YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!
Okay, I’ve been busy…nuts in fact! School started which means playdates, homework and most important: PTA! Oh yeah, PTA is the mafia of schools and you have to be politically correct and “do the right thing” as we say in Jersey.
At the parents meeting I tried to hear what the Rabbi was saying, the President of the PTA was saying but all I could hear were what the moms were saying…on their cell phones! As a performer I’m well aware when people are talking during a speech but I’m also not capable of hearing over cell phones ringing and actual cell phone conversations! I’m deaf from having two little girls!
With THAT being said I return to my humble abode where I have neighbors who are possessed…by what? No answer.
Latest dwelling drama: A neighbor who lives in the maid’s quarters and NOT with his parents intimidates people by dressing like a Cholo…but he’s Persian and no, not Jewish. (THANK G-D!)
If you don’t know what a “Cholo” is…take a trip downtown LA. I didn’t expect this scene in my building on the lovely Wilshire Corridor! This guy is wearing a black “doo rag”, one sweatpants leg pulled up and drags his other leg like he’s wearing a brace.
Obviously, a friend of mine as a neighbor asks me if I know him. WHY would I know HIM? He’s lurking, chain smoking in the pool area and I’m WATCHING this scene from my balcony and trust me…at 113 degrees I did consider going into the pool and getting my hair wet but… maybe not!
He doesn’t talk. He stares and smokes. Our kind 1st floor neighbors invited us to Shabbat dinner for Sukkot and I’m thinking: Is there going to be a “hit”? I receive complaints constantly about my kids, those lil’ darlings! Biggest complaint is “splashing” in the pool. Odd…you can’t splash on cement but that’s not the point, here’s the point: I can’t be stressed out where I live! I have to write this column for Virtual Jerusalem or I’ll be fired! (Note to the editor?)
I’m supposed to RELAX here! Too bad I couldn’t be at the Board Meeting. It was held Erev Rosh Hoshana! I propose the next big meeting should be on Christmas Eve. With the amount of Jews living in my building, I shouldn’t be the only one speaking out.
But I am.
It’s 100 degrees and was thinking of getting my hair wet today but…I can’t be in the pool with my Middle Eastern Cholo. Call me CRAZY but I’m confused! In Jersey, Dominicans are converting to Islam and now a Muslim in my building is converting to “Choloism!”
You can’t make this up and I never do so find out more next week when you tune in to my Blog…hey..you never know!